Green Card!

Gurl (Pam) secured her green card today in less time than it would take a Viking horde to bring a 55 and over community to its knees. Because of this swift domination, I ask you to savor the piece below, a true example of art imitating life. The card seen in the picture below is her temporary one given to her by the USCIS. (Note – I may have added a scar and tattoo to Pam’s face to make her appear more deadly.)

My Greatest Achievement

Out of any award, accolade, recognition or pat on the back I’ve ever garnered, this one from my junior year in high school undoubtedly is my apex of human merit assessment. That’s right, the award means I was really awesome at gym class. And if you think the fruit in the background is accidental, you’re worse than somebody that collects bookmarks.