{"id":985,"date":"2017-04-08T14:31:11","date_gmt":"2017-04-08T18:31:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/takethepatience.com\/?p=985"},"modified":"2017-04-08T14:31:11","modified_gmt":"2017-04-08T18:31:11","slug":"95-america-street-chapter-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/takethepatience.com\/?p=985","title":{"rendered":"95 America Street, Chapter 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

May 5, 2012<\/em><\/p>\n

Terrence Barnett stood in front of an enormous computer.\u00a0 The reddish brown hair on Terrence\u2019s head is in the midst of some serious recession and thinning but when I look at him, I couldn\u2019t imagine it any other way.\u00a0 He\u2019s tall and incredibly slim and looks like a combination of Bruce Dern and James Rebhorn.\u00a0 Everything about his look is fastidious.\u00a0 His pants are always crisp and partnered with shoes that are nice but not of this era.\u00a0 He often has a lab coat although none of us are sure why; there\u2019s never a threat of any organic substance being cast onto his clothing.\u00a0 Terrence is British and stiff.\u00a0 He\u2019s not stiff because he\u2019s British (or vice versa).\u00a0 His stiffness is due to what seems to be a severe, on-going, and self-imposed harsh self-assessment.<\/p>\n

The computer in front of him appeared to be outdated but was not.\u00a0 It looked like a slightly less silly version of the TroubAlert computer found in the Hall of Justice in the Super Friends<\/em> or Teletraan 1 from the Transformers<\/em>.\u00a0 Terrence is easily the smartest person on our team but his greatest enemy is most certainly himself.\u00a0 He tends to over-analyze things and perceive them in terms that are less human and more machine-like.\u00a0 This is no surprise since Terrence is a computer warlock.<\/p>\n

I know little of computers but I knew I needed someone that was not only an unsurpassable IT resource but someone who took it to the next level.\u00a0 I needed someone who had an artistic approach to computers.\u00a0 I needed someone to innovate.\u00a0 Terrence did just that.\u00a0 With instruction from me that was little more than, \u201cI want Teletraan 1\u201d, he made something that will someday be celebrated in Boston\u2019s Museum of Science.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t know what Teletraan 1 was, it was the master computer found in the Autobot\u2019s headquarters in the cartoon Transformers.<\/em>\u00a0 It was such a wonderful computer that you have to put the word \u201csuper\u201d in front of it, making it a supercomputer capable of monitoring all types of vital information all over Earth.\u00a0 This information was used to help the Autobots with current missions they were on or to alert them to new ones.<\/p>\n

Being an avid Transformer\u2019s fan, Terrence needed little instruction after that.\u00a0 The only part he felt uncomfortable doing with a computer this big was making an attractive housing for the screen and components. I told him I would take care of that.\u00a0 To the best of my abilities, I built a custom wood cabinet around his handy work.<\/p>\n

Terrence was rightfully proud of this computer.\u00a0 It was custom fit for our needs and we could all stand around it and enjoy it as its proud captain navigated it through an ocean of information.\u00a0 And it spoke!\u00a0 That\u2019s right, this computer spoke.\u00a0 The voice was Terrence\u2019s but it still spoke.\u00a0 Most of the time the speaking was a pre-recorded message but sometimes it would put individually pre-recorded words together into messages for us.\u00a0 This really wasn\u2019t necessary but I could tell Terrence really wanted to make something that was as close to Teletraan 1 as possible.<\/p>\n

You can imagine that after all of the love, sweat, time, and knowledge that he poured into this computer, he was very annoyed when we all started calling the computer \u201cThe Geek\u201d.\u00a0 Ripps was actually the one that came up with the nickname and who kept taping a poorly written sign on top of the computer that said \u201cThe Geek\u201d.\u00a0 Terrence would always let out a professional sigh whenever he saw and eventually take it down (with the help of a step ladder) but magically, the morning after, the sign would reappear.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The author of the sign, Ripps McCoxen, walked into the kitchen and then over to the large dining room where The Geek was located.\u00a0 His hair is a very light brown and I believe he is 31.\u00a0 Ripps stands about 5\u201911\u201d and carries around a slightly larger-than-average muscular build.\u00a0\u00a0 If a shirt he\u2019s wearing has sleeves (short or long), it is a very rare thing.\u00a0 It\u2019s peculiar to admit but I don\u2019t know what Ripps\u2019 real name is.\u00a0 Maybe that is his real name although I hope not.\u00a0 All I know is that he signs all official documents as \u201cRipps\u201d.\u00a0 Although my last name was somewhat rare and existed in the last name of Ripps, we had no relation.\u00a0 Ripps was from Revere.\u00a0 When things get intense, he likes to say \u201cIt\u2019s time to start Rippin\u2019 it Revere style!\u201d\u00a0 I never asked him if he capitalizes the \u201cr\u201d in \u201cRippin\u2019\u201d but I think it\u2019s safe to assume he does.<\/p>\n

Ripps is literally the muscle of our team.\u00a0 If our team were instruments, Ripps would certainly be the hammer, or some similar blunt instrument.\u00a0 You wouldn\u2019t want to use him for surgery or defusing a bomb but he would be irreplaceable for demolition.\u00a0 Everyone needs a hammer at some point.\u00a0 For this reason, I asked him to join our squad.<\/p>\n

Ripps was basically a poor shy kid that wanted to be muscular so because he couldn\u2019t afford weights and was too shy to lift at the school gym, he lifted anything he could get his hands on.\u00a0 While the other guys were lifting weights in gyms, Ripps was lifting things like air conditioners and radiators.\u00a0 Even during the second half of high school when he had overcome his shyness and had a job that would afford him a gym membership or a decent set of weights, he chose to stick with his odd yet effective routine.\u00a0 One thing that did bother him about his system was that it was hard to quantify and therefore compare his strength to his lifting peers.\u00a0 He remedied this by going into a gym once or twice a year to see how much he could truly lift.\u00a0 Although he wasn\u2019t a very big guy, it turned out he was quite strong.\u00a0 His borderline absurd regimen gave him very good core strength since he was never isolating some ridiculous muscle whose only purpose was to look good.<\/p>\n

Once you got to know Ripps, you would like him.\u00a0 There was a bit of a meathead veneer to get through but once you did, you found a man with a big heart that was fiercely loyal.\u00a0 His upbringing was not the best.\u00a0 His abusive father furnished him with an abundant amount of psychological landmines but thankfully his loving mother was able to barely keep his soul in the light.\u00a0 His ability to defend himself was a product of necessity.\u00a0 If he wasn\u2019t busy fending off lunatic toughs in his neighborhood, he found himself in prerequisite sparring sessions with his father at home.\u00a0 As they so often do, these experiences developed not just the right amount of attitude and skills to survive for Ripps but an overabundance that led to ridiculing people that were innocent of any wrongdoing.\u00a0 Ripps was unusually threatened by smart people, \u201cgeeks\u201d as he liked to call them.\u00a0 He took this perception of a threat to an extreme I found a little strange until I discovered that his father was a very intelligent man whose greatest abuse on Ripps was done not with his fists but with his mind.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Terrence looked over as Ripps entered. \u201cGood morning, Ripps.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s up?!\u00a0 You need to get off The Geek so I can check my email.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is not a geek, Ripps!\u00a0 This is a supercomputer capable of life-changing complex functions.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ripps pointed to the sign above the computer. \u201cI could put the same sign over you. I know a geek when I see one.\u00a0 They\u2019re always sticky and they smell like math.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cQuiet Ripps!\u00a0 I\u2019m trying to analyze data so I can brief you all on today\u2019s mission.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ripps strolled back into the kitchen.\u00a0 He took out his blender and assembled the necessary components for his protein shake.\u00a0 With almost comical care, he measured and dumped each ingredient into the blender.\u00a0 Absorbed in this process, he failed to see Stever Pat\u00e9 who was sleeping on the top of the upper kitchen cabinets.<\/p>\n

Stever is a motivational speaker with a medium height and build in his late 40\u2019s. \u00a0His hair is at that point where I am unsure if one would call it by its original color: dark brown, or it\u2019s more recent color: gray.\u00a0 In a couple years, it will unanimously be called gray.\u00a0 Stever likes the grays.\u00a0 He feels they give him authority.\u00a0 They remind him of the passage of time and how important it is to achieve as the \u201cAchievement Clock\u201d is slowly winding down.\u00a0 Stever is almost always in a red turtleneck or \u201cscarlet\u201d as he would say.<\/p>\n

Stever comes across as quite a ham and in many ways he is.\u00a0 But many make the mistake of misjudging him and writing him off as some out-of-touch boob.\u00a0 He is much more humble and in control than most people realize and I\u2019m of the thinking that many of his apparent foibles are in place so no one sees his magic.\u00a0 This may seem deceptive but his magic is used for good.\u00a0 He uses his magic to help people and from what I\u2019ve experienced, many people don\u2019t want to know they\u2019re being helped so it all seems to work out for the best.\u00a0 Besides, most of us subconsciously put up some sort of personality smokescreen that allows the real us to achieve our goals.<\/p>\n

Stever\u2019s negotiation and PR skills are second to none.\u00a0 He\u2019s wonderful with people.\u00a0 He knows how to implant a wonderful spirit in almost anyone.\u00a0 I usually detest motivational speakers but there is something absolutely genuine about him and his methods.\u00a0 Thankfully, we encounter many problems that can be repaired with is soft touch.<\/p>\n

Like Ripps, Stever has had his share of adversity but his came later in life.\u00a0 His upbringing was a happy one that included good grades, friends, playing keyboard in a band, a cool dad, a caring mother, a brother he got along with, and a sister he got along with.\u00a0 After graduating from a meaningful college experience that did not put him in debt, he entered the corporate world and eventually became a corporate trainer.\u00a0 His specialties were in sales and marketing.\u00a0 It sometimes bothered him that certain aspects of sales and marketing could be a tad sleazy at times (as could the entire corporate experience) but he remained a loyal soldier.<\/p>\n

When he was 34, the glass of milk that is life turned abruptly sour.\u00a0 His marriage had been already heading for an unwanted showdown.\u00a0 For the previous year, Stever had been increasing his pressure on his wife to have children.\u00a0 She had always told Stever that she wanted to have children with him but now that the time came, she balked.<\/p>\n

On his 34th<\/sup> birthday, he found out that he was being laid off since his company decided to outsource all of their training needs. \u00a0On his way out to the car that day, he carried a box filled with his impersonal effects.\u00a0 As he went for his car keys with his right hand, he dropped the box and everything scattered all about him.\u00a0 He continued to search for his keys and looked underneath his car where he saw something that looked like his keys so he lied on the ground and reached for them.\u00a0 He finally reached the object that turned out not to be his keys and as he tried to back out, realized he had become wedged underneath the car.\u00a0 He struggled for a bit but it only made things worse.\u00a0 He stopped, closed his eyes, and pondered his predicament.\u00a0 That\u2019s when tears flowed out of his eyes like the lava from an erupting volcano.\u00a0 His frustration got the better of him so he started kicking his legs and screaming.\u00a0 The first coworker that saw him took one look at the entire scene but did nothing to help him as she could not overcome a feeling that was a mix of awkwardness and fear.\u00a0 Her name was Susan, a person Stever often worked alongside with.\u00a0 Finally, a face appeared on the opposite side of the car, next to the front right tire.\u00a0 It was James, the maintenance man.\u00a0 Stever had never spoken a word to him.<\/p>\n

James got the jack from his truck and gently lifted Stever\u2019s car up so he could get out.\u00a0 He helped Stever to his feet.\u00a0 A pain shot through his chest.\u00a0 James thought Stever may have broken a rib so he brought him to the emergency room.\u00a0 Stever thanked James and told him to leave since his wife could collect him.\u00a0 X-rays showed a rib was cracked.\u00a0 They showed much more too.\u00a0 They showed he had some sort of rare lung infection.\u00a0 In layman\u2019s terms he had what was essentially herpes of the lungs.\u00a0 It was killing him and he had no idea.\u00a0 Follow up tests the next day concluded that he had about two months to live.\u00a0 The infection had spread too far too fast.<\/p>\n

His wife never showed at the hospital.\u00a0 After the taxi dropped him at his house, he went inside to find his wife and several of her things missing.\u00a0 She left.<\/p>\n

Stever lived about a mile or so away from a cranberry bog.\u00a0 He thought that would be a good place to kill himself.\u00a0 He wandered into the bog like a zombie, drunker than he\u2019d ever been, drunk enough, he hoped, that he could drown himself without too much effort.\u00a0 He sat down.\u00a0 He looked at all the cranberries that seemed to run away from him.\u00a0 He allowed himself to fall face forward into the acidic water.\u00a0 In his drunken state he had a hard time realizing he was drowning.\u00a0 The horrible taste and feeling of the water rushing into his lungs seemed to be part of a horrible dream.\u00a0 Without warning, two strong arms pulled him out of the water and dragged him onto dry land.\u00a0 It was Maxwell Lassidorf, the owner of the bog and a motivational speaker.<\/p>\n

Although he didn\u2019t realize it at the time, a miracle had happened that day.\u00a0 His lung infection was gone within a week.\u00a0 From what doctors could tell, it seemed to be linked to his near drowning in the bog but they were unsure as to exactly why.\u00a0 Some doctors thought it had something to do with the high acid levels of the bog water that filled his lungs while others thought the cranberries, which are high in antioxidants are to be credited in positively affecting the water he ingested.<\/p>\n

Once Stever fully recovered, he took Maxwell out to dinner to thank him (and to apologize for almost killing himself in his nice bog).\u00a0 The two quickly became good friends and Maxwell helped start Stever on his new path as a motivational speaker.<\/p>\n

A cranberry bog.\u00a0 It had been so good to Stever.\u00a0 It gave him his life back, it gave him a best friend, and it gave him a new purpose in life.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

At the very moment the blender came to life, Stever\u2019s head popped up.\u00a0 Sensing movement above him, Ripps quickly looked up and saw Stever.\u00a0 Just as suddenly as Ripps was scared by this unexpected and odd-placed presence, he became upset with himself for allowing himself to get scared.<\/p>\n

\u201cBro!\u00a0 Why?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood morning, Ripps!\u00a0 What time is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeven forty.\u00a0 Why the hell are you sleeping up there?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeven forty?\u201d He exhaled and put his head back down. \u201cDarn it.\u00a0 I overslept by five hours.\u00a0 I\u2019m sleeping up here because I like to sleep in precarious places.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell find somewhere else to catch your geeky z\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo worries, Ripps.\u00a0 I never sleep in the same place twice so it\u2019s a non-issue.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Stever awkwardly got down from the cabinets, Danny Morsel came in from the back stairway, behind Ripps.\u00a0 Although Ripps didn\u2019t see Danny, he knew he was coming.\u00a0 The back stairs were strong but they creaked even if a ghost floated over them.<\/p>\n

Stever made it down to the floor and saw Danny. \u201cHi there Danny!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHi.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow did you sleep?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was asleep so I don\u2019t really remember how it was.\u201d Danny did not mean that as a joke but Stever laughed generously.<\/p>\n

\u201cHa haaa!\u00a0 That is beautiful, Danny!\u00a0 I\u2019m going to use that one, with your permission.\u201d<\/p>\n

Danny\u2019s expression did not change. \u201cSure.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stever started to make his usual breakfast: green tea, half of an organic grapefruit, and gluten-free muesli with blueberries, chia seeds and plain Greek yogurt (or \u201cGeek yogurt\u201d as Ripps calls it) mixed in.\u00a0 If it was the weekend, Stever might even mix in a little honey to his muesli mix.\u00a0 From the moment he awoke, Stever was unbelievably chipper.\u00a0 He wanted to talk to everyone.\u00a0 He wanted everyone to share in his happiness.\u00a0 Danny awoke on the opposite end of the morning spectrum.\u00a0 His early-morning disposition was that of a Clint Eastwood western character that woke up in a jail with a hangover and a small, non-lethal knife wound in the leg.\u00a0 He was best left alone.<\/p>\n

Stever took his breakfast over to the kitchen table, near the window.\u00a0 He started to whistle.\u00a0 Each note stung Danny like a wasp.\u00a0 With his back turned, Danny\u2019s head dropped, he stopped spreading butter on his toast, and held up the butter knife to his side so Stever could see it.\u00a0 In a beseeching and mildly menacing tone, Danny said one word: \u201cPlease.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stever stopped whistling.\u00a0 Or more accurately, he stopped whistling out loud and whistled in his mind which was made clear with his music conductor-like head movements.<\/p>\n

Danny took small bites from his toast and drank black coffee as he waited for his two eggs and Canadian bacon to come to fruition.\u00a0 Even when the remainder of his meal completed itself, he would still stand at the counter as he ate it.\u00a0 If he was in a hurry, he would stand over the sink and eat so all the crumbs would fall into the sink, voiding the need of plates or cleanup.\u00a0 This move so impressed Stever that he included it in his seminars in his section on efficiency.<\/p>\n

Danny was also the muscle of the group although his was of a different variety from Ripps.\u00a0 I met him in the popular and expansive tree-rich Arboretum nearby.\u00a0 The sun had just set and I was running alongside the train tracks on a well-worn path on the back side of Peter\u2019s Hill.\u00a0 The Arboretum is safe but like any city park, it\u2019s a good idea to avoid it after dark.\u00a0 When I reached the top of a bluff, I stopped.\u00a0 Down below and on the other side of large, natural bowl-shaped valley was a peculiar scene.<\/p>\n

Three punkish young men were approaching a man dressed in a red tank top and black pants who looked to be practicing some sort of martial arts.\u00a0 What made it more bizarre was that his movements were in time with music playing from a humble boom box.\u00a0 Next to the boom box was what looked to be a ventriloquist doll that, from what I could tell from this distance, was dressed exactly like its owner.\u00a0 This martial art was a combination of dancing and fighting, making it similar to capoeira.\u00a0 However, the dance moves were quite different; they seemed to be on a family tree whose ancestors included Michael Jackson, Mikhail Baryshnikov and John Travolta.<\/p>\n

Although I could not make out their exact words, the approaching men were undoubtedly taunting the man that was dancing\/fighting.\u00a0 One of them started to sloppily mimic him.\u00a0 At that exact moment, another charged from behind.\u00a0 The man moved to the side but kept his leg in the same spot.\u00a0 As the aggressor tripped over his leg, the dance fighter took his leg back and jumped on the tripping man\u2019s back, riding him to the ground.\u00a0 I started to run down slowly.\u00a0 The aggressor stayed on the ground with the wind knocked out of him while the dance fighter quickly rolled over to the boom box, turned up the volume, and grabbed the doll by his feet.\u00a0 As a second man charged, his faced was immediately introduced to the hard, unforgiving head of this doll.\u00a0 He moved away.\u00a0 Struggling to stay on his feet and overcome his brand new dizzying pain, he eventually stumbled to the ground.\u00a0 Right behind him was the third man charging.\u00a0 Slightly bent over and with his body facing sideways, the dance fighter found himself in a less than desirable position.\u00a0 With few options, he simply thrust his left hip into the final attacker\u2019s thigh.\u00a0 With the dance fighter\u2019s assistance, the attacker flipped over and landed on his back.\u00a0 All three men staggered to their feet and rapidly limped away.\u00a0 All of this happened before I made it within 40 feet from this mysterious man.\u00a0 And all of it happened as if it were some rehearsed dance.<\/p>\n

I approached this spectacle of a man.\u00a0 He had very dark brown hair that looked like an anchorman\u2019s after an hour of racquetball.\u00a0 On his face, the neighbor below was a rough n\u2019 tumble mustache that was bred with the same hostility found in his apology-free shoulder hairs.\u00a0 His eyes were wild but focused, like that of a cat that just killed a squirrel.\u00a0 I judged him to be in his mid-30\u2019s at the time.\u00a0 As he spoke, his voice stationed itself at a slightly lower register.\u00a0 It was a voice that would excite risk-taking women and scare children.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you okay?\u00a0 Should I call the cops?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine.\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 No cops are needed.\u00a0 I have successfully instilled fear into the weak minds of my attackers.\u00a0 I doubt they will again have enough bravery to even attack a comatose farm animal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was quite an introduction you gave those guys.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I got a funny way of shaking hands.\u201d<\/p>\n

I continued to encounter Danny Morsel in the same spot.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if you could call us drinking buddies but we did become something like friends from our passing conversations.\u00a0 I eventually found out that his martial art was a thing he dubbed \u201cCombat Dancing\u201d.\u00a0 He created the art quite by accident.\u00a0 Danny was always a good dancer.\u00a0 He won a few amateur contests.\u00a0 He was also into martial arts.\u00a0 He tried several different forms but none of them intrigued him.\u00a0 Then one night in a dance club in Miami, someone picked a fight with him on the floor during one of Danny\u2019s favorite songs, Give It To Me<\/em> by Rick James.\u00a0 \u201cEven though I was in a fight, I couldn\u2019t stop dancing!\u00a0 It was my favorite song.\u201d\u00a0 Danny instead decided to have his cake and kick someone\u2019s ass too.\u00a0 He carried on with his dancing and worked in some of his favorite martial arts moves.\u00a0 The result was explosively entertaining and violently effective.<\/p>\n

As most are, Danny was a self-appointed vigilante.\u00a0 He travelled from city to city, looking for thugs to tame.\u00a0 He would spend anywhere from six months to two years before moving on.\u00a0 His income was the interesting part.\u00a0 After he \u201ccrumpled a criminal like a piece of junk mail\u201d, he would take their money or any valuables they had on him.\u00a0 He thought it was only fair.\u00a0 He rendered a valuable service to the community and believed that he should be paid for his efforts.\u00a0 And what better way to be compensated than by the criminal themselves!\u00a0 Beyond this, I know little of Danny\u2019s past.<\/p>\n

His little friend was lovingly referred to as the \u201cWar Doll\u201d.\u00a0 The War Doll was a weapon of the strangest style I had ever seen.\u00a0 Danny told me it was a good baffling technique.\u00a0 He would often wear it on his chest and hide it under a jacket. \u00a0When the moment was right and he confronted an enemy, he would rip off his jacket and display the War Doll. \u00a0The shock and confusion that would follow was something Danny always found to his advantage.<\/p>\n

Underneath a thin fabric \u201cskin\u201d was a much thicker layer of wool that was an exact replica of the kind used in the 1700\u2019s for the British soldier\u2019s redcoat.\u00a0 When asked why he used this wool, Danny would illustrate the wool\u2019s legendary resilience and toughness with a brief tale.\u00a0 After fighting the British in Lexington, a Dover militiaman by the name of Jabez Baker got his hands on a British redcoat and used it to dress a scarecrow in his field.\u00a0 The coat persisted out in the field for 90 gnarly New England winters, springs, summers, and falls.\u00a0 Beneath the wool, running through the entire body, were small Kevlar plates woven together.\u00a0 The head itself was indeed a magnificently sculpted and painted piece of Kevlar.\u00a0 The War Doll: a bullet proof vest, a weapon, a dear friend.<\/p>\n

I believe we\u2019re clear on why I asked Danny to join us.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Someone was coming down the stairs.\u00a0 The sound of the creaking stairs was accompanied by scatting.\u00a0 The two sounds were not only close in volume, they were in sync.\u00a0 The resulting sound was nothing short of jazz.\u00a0 The creaking stairs had now become a sort of percussion.\u00a0 The descending musician had quickly figured out what creaks happened where and masterfully adjusted his scatting to create an odd but respectable sound.\u00a0 With the smoothness of melting chocolate, Barry Tattle spun around the corner and into the kitchen.\u00a0 Barry\u2019s age is a closely guarded secret.\u00a0 When asked his age, Barry responds, \u201cWorry not about my age for my figure is eternal.\u201d\u00a0 He always has a well-groomed mustache for the world to enjoy and his eyes are almost always partying behind some light amber-colored lenses.\u00a0 His receding hair is usually fashioned in one of two ways: almost whiffle-short or like Jack Nicholson\u2019s in The Shining<\/em>.\u00a0 During the day, Barry is dressed nice but something you could moped in.\u00a0 At night, his dress and manner become more sensual.\u00a0 His favorite nocturnal uniform is a burgundy silk suit that was custom made in Bangkok while travelling through.\u00a0 Since the tailor in Bangkok still has his measurements and his \u201cfigure\u201d has remained steady, he has since ordered more suits in different colors and patterns for extremely friendly prices.<\/p>\n

Barry\u2019s purpose was similar to Stever\u2019s but if Stever was the day, Barry was the night.\u00a0 Stever had a soft touch but sometimes a touch so soft was needed that the recipient did not even realized they were being touched.\u00a0 Barry is a great spy without realizing it or attempting it or wanting it.\u00a0 People, ladies especially, open up to him.\u00a0 He\u2019s warm and charming and absolutely free of any unsavory elements brewing beneath the surface.\u00a0 Barry is<\/em> truly jazzy.\u00a0 It\u2019s not an act.\u00a0 People enjoy his presence because they feel like they\u2019re on vacation.\u00a0 And when you\u2019re on vacation, you tend to let your hair down – and Barry knows just what to do when your hair is down.<\/p>\n

Barry is from Bermuda.\u00a0 It\u2019s funny because before I met Barry, I had never actually met someone from Bermuda or \u201cBermy\u201d as he often calls it.\u00a0 His father was from France and his mother was from Ireland.\u00a0 They met in Ireland and moved to Bermuda and began a business building the type of sailboats known as \u201cBermuda sloops\u201d.\u00a0 Barry never took to boat-building but he did take to the jazz that his father always had playing in his shop.\u00a0 Barry loved to emulate Louis Armstrong\u2019s scatting and ultimately developed his own bossa nova scat style.\u00a0 For a laugh one night at a party, he started singing and scatting while a jazz band lightly played in the background.\u00a0 The bystanders\u2019 reactions were the same as that to seeing someone throw a baseball 90 mph for their very first pitch of their life.\u00a0 Fast forward a few years, Barry was making a decent living performing at parties and clubs in Bermuda.<\/p>\n

Barry carved out a most envious lifestyle in Bermuda.\u00a0 He partied often, entertained and fell in love with ladies.\u00a0 Even after a romance had expired, the love between Barry and his \u201clady guest\u201d would continue.\u00a0 A woman might get sad when it ended (as would Barry) but somehow she realized that Barry was meant to be shared with the world.\u00a0 His positive impact was not meant for just one person; it had to be felt by many.\u00a0 Barry was not a slut \u2013 he loved every single woman he interacted with.\u00a0 Barry had an understanding and appreciation for women that was unparalleled (think Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman<\/em> but more pure).<\/p>\n

Eventually he scored some gigs in the states and found himself with a faithful following in Boston.\u00a0 I used to see him perform at various spots: Johnny D\u2019s in Somerville, The Good Life downtown (before they wrecked the place), Lucky\u2019s and even the occasional jazz brunch at the Beehive.\u00a0 I became a big fan and was happy when he would invite me to drink afterwards.\u00a0 As I would sit down and watch him in his post-show habitat, I started to realize it was nearly a better performance than his normal show.\u00a0 He worked a room without effort.\u00a0 What amazed me most was when he interacted with a group of folks he had never met.\u00a0 It was like he was some kind of can opener that could open even the most difficult of containers. He would then sit down next to me and proceeded to share with me an indescribable volume of personal information on his new close friends.\u00a0 Barry only shared these juicy tidbits with me after he got to know and trust me.<\/p>\n

One of his skills, I noticed was that he could drink a lot.\u00a0 While his fellow revelers started to dissolve, Barry remained intact.\u00a0 He loved chardonnay but I\u2019ve never seen it get the better of him.\u00a0 He loves it so much that he even designed a moped in his father\u2019s shop that runs on it.\u00a0 That reminds me, Barry is an enormous fan of mopeds and endeavors to use them for all his transportation needs (he even designed one with a sidecar and more powerful engine so he can transport two ladies should the need and desire arise).<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Barry dumped some cereal into a bowl.\u00a0 Danny\u2019s attention was brought over to Barry when he heard the sound of a bottle being uncorked.\u00a0 Danny watched in disbelief as Barry added a few ounces of chardonnay to his cereal.\u00a0 Barry caught his eye, smiled, held up the bottle and said, \u201cEven in the morning, this is a flavor that my body must savor!\u201d\u00a0 Danny\u2019s eyes followed Barry as he walked out of the kitchen, scatting and carrying his bowl of chardonnay-soaked cereal into the dining room area.<\/p>\n

I walked into the dining room to the find the cast members of this odd, great play we were in.\u00a0 In a few moments they would meet our final actor.\u00a0 With the exception of Terrence who was at the keyboard, they stood in an arc around The Geek.\u00a0 I had my back to the screen as I spoke, \u201cGood morning folks.\u00a0 Terrence, has The Geek assembled our first mission?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish you would stop calling it that but yes, it has.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExcellent.\u00a0 Gentlemen, we\u2019ve been together for a week now. \u00a0You\u2019ve all been chosen because each of you brings a unique skill set that, I believe, will make help make an incredible team. \u00a0Barry, I chose you because of your charm and tenderness. \u00a0That plus the fact that you know your way around a bottle of chardonnay make you the perfect spy. \u00a0We can\u2019t rely on The Geek for all of our data collection needs. \u00a0Some will require a more seductive and deceptive approach.\u201d<\/p>\n

Barry took a hearty gulp from his cereal bowl.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll drink to that, hombre! \u00a0And please don\u2019t call me a spy.\u00a0 I prefer the term \u2018hush man\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

I smiled.\u00a0 If it was later in the day, I would have laughed.\u00a0 Danny and I must have had a similar ancestor for I too struggled with mornings.\u00a0 \u201cStever, you will be our first line of offense. \u00a0You will be the first one to resolve any missions through negotiation and diplomacy. \u00a0Your years as a motivational speaker make you perfect for achieving our goals through peaceful means.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll make sure everyone I deal with comes down with a \u2018Stever Fever \u2018! Ha!\u201d Stever laughed confidently but upon looking around at predominantly unchanged faces, added, \u201c\u2026that means I\u2019ll do well.\u201d<\/p>\n

Barry interjected, \u201cI\u2019m not sure it makes any difference but I\u2019m from Bermuda.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks Barry.\u00a0 Now, our missions won\u2019t all be peaceful. \u00a0Some will be downright dangerous which is why I made sure we had muscle. \u00a0Ripps, we\u2019ve all heard tales of your strength. \u00a0I hope it\u2019s there when we need it most.\u201d<\/p>\n

With a small but entertaining puff of the chest, Ripps assured us all, \u201cThe god of hugeness didn\u2019t give me these guns so I could knit sweaters.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDamn it, I love sweaters.\u00a0 I like to wear them.\u201d Barry said genuinely with no intention of being a wise ass.<\/p>\n

\u201cOur other muscle comes in the form of Danny Morsel. \u00a0He\u2019s the world leader when it comes to Combat Dancing\u2026which I\u2019m sure you all have seen before.\u00a0 Right guys?\u201d<\/p>\n

With arms folded, Ripps gave an incredulous exhalation.\u00a0 \u201cYou kidding me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Stever politely tried to pretend to search his mind for a response but then shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d be lying if I said yes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Feeling it was his turn, Barry looked straight ahead and delivered a negative response in his special style, \u201cThis moment belongs to \u2018No\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

Danny was mildly disgusted.\u00a0 \u201cWell that\u2019s fine because most people haven\u2019t experienced death either before it happens yet they learn fast when it does.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stever tried to wrap his head around that thought.\u00a0 \u201cSo Combat Dancing is just as important as death?<\/p>\n

With the cool yet dangerous authority of Clint Eastwood (sorry but I\u2019ll be making Clint comparisons to Danny a lot \u2013 their voices are different but their brooding energy is almost identical), Danny answered his temporary student, \u201cBeing a motivational speaker, Stever, you should know that only Combat Dancing and death are needed to motivate someone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s one other Jambassador you haven\u2019t met. \u00a0Now I\u2019ve tried to prepare you for this.\u00a0 I know you\u2019re sick of me saying it but what you\u2019re about to witness may scare you but please understand that this power is friendly in nature.\u00a0 Terrence, does The Geek have a fix on Future Queer yet?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ripps looked nervous.\u00a0 \u201cFuture what?!\u201d<\/p>\n

Terrence kept alternating between typing and reading data on the screen.\u00a0 \u201cThe COMPUTER is locating him now\u2026a few moments more\u2026there he is and he should be here in 3\u20262\u20261\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Coming from what sounded like the upstairs, a loud sizzling noise, as if something was being fried by electricity, joined with distinct pops and snaps was heard.\u00a0 They could not see it but a source of bright light started to form in the highest room in the house, the only room on the fourth floor, the top of the tower.\u00a0 Powerful bursts of light and non-lethal bolts of electricity charged out of the four windows going north, south, east, and west.\u00a0 Even in the bright morning, one could still detect this other-worldly light.\u00a0 The tower now looked like an odd lighthouse with four lights set in opposite directions that and instead of just shining light, were emitting a futuristic blast of energy.\u00a0 But this blast of energy was not destructive.\u00a0 Yes, you could feel something pass through you if you were close to it but it did no more harm than a strong wind.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The sound stopped.\u00a0 There was silence for a few seconds which was followed by footsteps coming down the ladder from the top room of the tower.\u00a0 Everyone knew that all members of the household were standing in that one room.\u00a0 The stairs from the third floor now came to life.\u00a0 It was interesting to look at the faces of everyone to see how they handled this rare moment.\u00a0 Even though they searched for an explanation, all of them knew they were about to encounter something that would change the way they saw the world from this point on.\u00a0 Ripps was masking a bit of fear with an exaggerated version of a bouncer\u2019s stance.\u00a0 Stever seemed to sink into some well-rehearsed, meditative technique designed to control a sudden rush of nerves.\u00a0 The top of the final staircase was now speaking out.\u00a0 Barry stroked his mustache, almost smiled and gave off the air that he knew what was coming.\u00a0 Danny had a poker face that would put Doc Holliday to shame \u2013 his thoughts were unreadable to me.<\/p>\n

As the old floorboards sounded out, we all stared at the doorway leading into the kitchen.\u00a0 There was a black curtain there that was about to inadvertently become part of a dramatic stage entrance.\u00a0 A hand from the other side of the curtain pushed it aside and the recent cause of speculation presented itself.<\/p>\n

With a bold, almost authoritative voice sharing qualities of one found in a 1950\u2019s educational film, he spoke. \u201cMy name is Future Queer!\u00a0 I am from the future!\u201d<\/p>\n

There before us was something that took most if not all of your breath away.\u00a0 This \u201cFuture Queer\u201d was a man of average height and build but after that, nothing was average in his appearance.\u00a0 His outfit was somewhat athletic (except his footwear which resembled black dress shoes).\u00a0 His black pants were like running pants and his top was a lightweight, polyester-looking red vest that was either by itself or partnered with a long sleeve shirt, depending on the weather.\u00a0 So minus his shoes, it kind of looked like Future Queer ran here from the future.<\/p>\n

And Future Queer\u2019s head?\u00a0 Unmistakable.\u00a0 His hair was some sort of thick, silver rubber wig that looked a kin to the hairstyle of an Oompa-Loompa.\u00a0\u00a0 It was as if that people in the future reverted to the 1700\u2019s practice of wearing wigs during important events.\u00a0 He also had a mustache which looked fake but I could not be sure – its shape was like that of a Victorian-era bartender and its color was gray.<\/p>\n

Future Queer is from the year 2912.\u00a0 According to him, \u201cthe future is gay\u201d.\u00a0 I always find this statement astonishingly broad but it is frequently the first thing out of his mouth when he lands in a certain time and place.\u00a0 Weirdly enough, that is one of Future Queer\u2019s purposes: to inform the past that the future is gay.\u00a0 I thought such sharing of the future would be illegal as it would compromise the future in some way but Future Queer has told me that Lord Faberg\u00e9, the ruler of their time, has invested fantastic sums of money researching into this matter and their studies conclude that the sharing of certain data of the future is not only harmless but beneficial.\u00a0 The thing that makes such decisions and that is directly linked to Future Queer\u2019s Thought-Controlled Time Travel Component (TCTTC) is a super computer of epic powers and proportions.\u00a0 Time travel is dicey business.\u00a0 Jump into the wrong coordinates, like inside a tree, you\u2019ll be dead.\u00a0 Future Queer simply thinks of where and when he wishes to jump, the computer analyzes it and responds with a confirmation or a better, safer alternative.\u00a0 This super computer\u2019s name is Juan.\u00a0 It\u2019s not an acronym or anything.\u00a0 They simply named the computer Juan.<\/p>\n

Future Queer could have jumped into the room we were standing in but he didn\u2019t for two reasons: 1) he didn\u2019t want to scare the Ripps, Danny, Stever and Barry with a blinding light show and 2) Future Queer prefers not to jump into spaces with lots of people that may be moving around.\u00a0 Once he\u2019s in an action-packed space and can see the lay of the land, than he is more comfortable with jumping around.\u00a0 We both agreed it was best for him to jump into the top room of the tower since I knew no one would be there.\u00a0 If the neighbors ever ask about all the light, we will tell them Terrence, our scientist, was conducting harmless light\/electricity experiments.<\/p>\n

Juan has incalculable amounts of data pertaining to the safety status of equally incalculable places and times but it is far from infallible.\u00a0 This is why time travelers must go through years of rigorous training in an extremely elite university simply known as Time Travel University.\u00a0 A well-trained traveler with acute senses and sharp instincts and a lucid mind working in concert with Juan is capable of amazing things while simultaneously posing no risk to the past, present or future.<\/p>\n

I really shouldn\u2019t call him Future Queer.\u00a0 That\u2019s not his real name. \u00a0He calls himself that when he\u2019s travelling through the past since he feels that it makes more sense and immediately introduces the fact that he is a time traveler.\u00a0 He does realize the word \u201cqueer\u201d can be offensive to some but in his time, the word queer is synonymous with \u201cglorious\u201d and he wishes to show that there is no need to \u201cfear the queer\u201d as he would say.\u00a0 His real name is Fred.\u00a0 \u201cCalling myself \u2018Future Queer\u2019 in the year 2912 would be like someone from your time calling themselves \u2018Person That Wears Denim Slacks\u2019\u201d, Fred says often.<\/p>\n

Fred tells me that almost everyone in the future is gay.\u00a0 After the winning the Gay Wars of 2876, an almost perfect gay utopia resulted.\u00a0 Interestingly enough, from how he describes it, this gay utopia sounds like a conservative straight society.\u00a0 It\u2019s not like the wild partying or artistically stimulating or on-the-fringe scene one might expect.\u00a0 There are banks and offices and schools and people mowing lawns.\u00a0 But perhaps that is to be expected.\u00a0 When one group becomes the majority and maintains power, it seems to become boring.\u00a0 Those at the top quickly realize that stability and predictability are the cornerstones to the preservation of a society.<\/p>\n

Fred was fine with the way things are in his time until he started travelling to other eras.\u00a0 He soon saw that something was lost.\u00a0 Gays had so long been oppressed that once they saw a chance to dominate, they did so.\u00a0 They thought it would cure their oppression.\u00a0 Perhaps it did for a time but now the soul of it all was gone.\u00a0 Fred tells me there is a growing movement to somehow create a society with more balance.\u00a0 He realizes that so many of the people that claim to be gay are not.\u00a0 He dreams of a time where you can be what you truly wish to be and suffer no dire consequences.\u00a0 Fred regrets the Gay Armies destroying the Straight Armies to the point that the tiny surviving faction became the \u201cStraight Resistance\u201d and was forced to shamefully live underground like rats.\u00a0 From what Fred can tell, most gay people are secretly unhappy with this utopia and feel more enslaved now than they did before the wars.\u00a0 Fred\u2019s hope is that by being the \u201cbest gay I can be!\u201d during his travels to the past, he will perhaps help people change how they view sexual orientation and avoid the bitter Gay Wars of 2876.<\/p>\n

Fred answered a craigslist ad I posted in efforts to find members for the Jambassadors.\u00a0 It\u2019s ironic that the only member that the craigslist ad was able to bring in was not even from our time.\u00a0 I had to keep the ad somewhat vague.\u00a0 I made it sound like it was a simple charity we were starting.\u00a0 My hope was that I could get in a few decent people that could interview heavily.\u00a0 Fred was drawn to my cause as he thought he could learn a lot from our society since he would be coming in to contact with very intriguing situations.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to lie, I not only thought he was nuts when I met him but I was scared shitless when he started demonstrating his time travelling powers.\u00a0 Once I became acclimated with Fred and his one of a kind talent, I decided he would make a wonderful addition.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Stever, Ripps, and Danny were far from using words.\u00a0 Barry was curiously smiling and was clearly trying to figure something out.\u00a0 I could see they were becoming skeptical so I spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cFuture Queer comes from the year 2912 and he\u2019s a time traveler. \u00a0Oh, his real name is Fred so call him that.\u00a0 He\u2019s agreed to use his time travelling abilities to help us. \u00a0I can already tell you don\u2019t believe he is what he says he is so we\u2019ve designed a little demo.\u00a0\u00a0 Yesterday, I showed you a page of the Boston Herald<\/em> newspaper dated July 19th<\/sup>, 1884 that I found in one of the walls in The Castle with an article about Theodore Roosevelt defending Henry Cabot Lodge\u2019s support of Republican candidate James Blaine. I even put a few distinctive marks on the paper with pen. \u00a0In front of you, I destroyed that article.\u00a0 Now you will see why.\u00a0 Show them, Fred.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fred disappeared in a flash of light that confused, irritated and surprised everyone.\u00a0 A moment later, the light show returned along with Fred.\u00a0 In his hand was the very page I destroyed yesterday.\u00a0 Even though I knew what was coming, I couldn\u2019t help share in everyone else\u2019s awe.\u00a0 It was like being in a Matrix-like computer software program where a genius programmer was doing some real-time editing with the most potent computer graphics program available.<\/p>\n

I had planned to go right into our mission but I changed my mind and let them talk to Fred for a couple hours or so.\u00a0 You don\u2019t throw a time traveler at somebody and expect to carry on with your day.\u00a0 I had to make sure they were okay with the idea.\u00a0 All of them were except Ripps.\u00a0 Ripps was cold and kept his distance.\u00a0 He was struggling with the homosexual angle of Fred.\u00a0 I warned Fred of this and he handled it marvelously.<\/p>\n

As it turned out, Barry met Fred in Bermuda years ago at a beach party.\u00a0 It was a costume party and everyone was pretty drunk so when a strangely dressed person claimed to be a time-travelling gay man from the future, no one gave it any thought.\u00a0 Fred was actually awarded with a \u201cBest Costume\u201d prize during the party.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

May 5, 2012 Terrence Barnett stood in front of an enormous computer.\u00a0 The reddish brown hair on Terrence\u2019s head is in the midst of some serious recession and thinning but when I look at him, I couldn\u2019t imagine it any other way.\u00a0 He\u2019s tall and incredibly slim and looks like a combination of Bruce Dern … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “95 America Street, Chapter 2”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[291,278],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-985","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chapter-2","category-95-america-street"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2ImM6-fT","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/takethepatience.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/985","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/takethepatience.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/takethepatience.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takethepatience.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takethepatience.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=985"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/takethepatience.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/985\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":994,"href":"https:\/\/takethepatience.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/985\/revisions\/994"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/takethepatience.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=985"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takethepatience.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=985"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takethepatience.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=985"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}